First, bear in mind that I basically agree with Schmidt that "if you have something that you don't want anyone to know, maybe you shouldn't be doing it in the first place." I think it's important to note his infidelity and attendant double-standards about transparency at the same time, however.

I am also not a fan of States. Their double-standards about transparency are obscene. The Snowden situation is just one of the latest nauseating examples. Therefore I encourage inconveniencing surveillance apparati at every opportunity and offer these as some easy means to do so.

Code very much like this constituted the payload of my dissertation. The thesis was basically that they can enhance or supplant encryption in some circumstances. Not unrelated are the facts that calculating the actual difficulty of solving most encryption algorithms is NP, and that we have no real idea if States have already done so.

Be advised that they are irreversibly destructive to the plaintext. That doesn't generally matter as the output is proven readable by some (human) audiences. Enjoy!

The transliterator
The scrambler
The substituter